Thursday, August 13, 2009

Charlie and Leah Wedding

[imagine performed presto]

Alright then...

Charlie told me to be brief and so I will... be (is that an extra word I could have taken out?)

Anyway, so - my experience as a debater, at school, told me the fast track to brevity was in finding a clear definition... a clear definition of... "brief".

After the years that Charlie and I have had arguing over the value, or lack-thereof, in the OED as a source of definition - I decided to go for a more "modern" and "cool", "off-the-cuff" definition.

SOoooo... the best definition of "brief" I could come up with was...

A tweet - less than 140 characters.

OK - so... then the problem arises in actually writing a speech equal to or less than 140 characters, without leaving the audience mystified...

[look to side] am I running out of time yet?

[smile] anyway... so...

The first few attempts were... well - lets say... like most people's tweets... boring as bat shit.

For example:

"Charlie and Leah live in the village. It is a strange and scary place with no parking but it does have a pool and tennis courts." (128 characters)

Then I decided to try drawing on the classics a bit more:
"Charlie and Leah, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a golden carriage." (128 characters)

I then accidentally managed to write a haiku: [choose one]
"charlie, leah wed / future joy for all and more / happiness abounds" (67 characters)
charlie, leah wed / future joy for all and more / fun to watch and see - 73
charlie and leah / facing a great future now / happiness and fun [for all] - 64
honourable man / pretty girl find each other / happiness abounds - 64
charlie, leah wed / noble man and gorgeous girl / happiness abounds

Now - that brings me to the interesting difference, I discovered last night, between the English definition of a syllable and the Japanese definition of an "on"

[look to right] ... I don't have time for that?... oh... ok...

Then I decided to get serious - and personal.

[smiley face pronounced]
Charlie and Leah. I'm so :-) for you on this wonderful day. I'm honored that you asked me to be a part of it. And all I really need to say i

...Bugger - ran out of characters.

So then - finally - I struck upon simply this.

[attags, hashtags and abbreviations pronounced]
I love you @c4. You have been n always will be my friend. @leah u make Charlie happy. 4 that you have my love n gratitude. All my love. Nick

Total Characters? - 140

For those interested in following this microblog please go to @c4leahwedding - or to tweet something on the event tonight you can include the hashtag #c4leahwedding... I'll expect a "follow" from you guys [charlie and leah] over the next couple of days... ok?